Racism by Omission

It's been a while, so hopefully, I will remember the things that have been bothering me. I would say that they are things that have been making me think, but these things have been bothering me because they are the result of someone 's inability to think properly.

First things first. I am not going to put my brother's baggage in the street, but the public schools we grew up in in the MV were the antithesis of diverse. I remember walking down the street with my brother and sister and having a raised Chevy with a gun rack and Confederate Flag run us off the road. My step-brother and step-sister have broken noses of people who have cornered them. To put it bluntly, there has been racial harassment in the districts school.

The incidents with my sibbling happened more than 15 years ago, but recently at the jr high there were several students who were expelled/suspended for racial harassment of a student. This happened a few weeks ago, and I am only realizing now that the school is not doing anything to celebrate, recognize, appreciate, etc Black History Month. It's not that I think BHM is so greatly needed, but it is usually the one time of a year that students from ALL racial backgrounds get an opportunity and a platform to share their culture. But the message that they are receiving this year is that harassment won't be tolerated, and neither with their culture.

I do not consider myself racially sensetive. I usually chalk up racial issues up to peoples' stupidity; it's how I made it through the MV without any fighting. However, this seems like a no-brainer that even a poop-flinging monkey would be able to realize that BHM was a necessity when you have already had to kick out students for racial harassment. This is not a normal rant for me, and I would feel obligated to say something tp someone, but why should I? Just because I am the ONLY Black staff member does not mean that I should say something. Thhis school is so set on making change in the world that they are forgetting the normal way that are readily available to produce change. Why re-invent the wheel when you can fix what is already here. I am not an avid advocate of BHM; there is something discouraging about the fact that racial diversity is acceptable only during the shortest month of the year. Something's not right here.....

Stresses of Fatherhood

This little girl, who is the source of strength and joy for me, is probably the only person in my life who will cause me to have anxiety attacks. My childhood family has already stresses me out to the point of losing mu hair at an early age and caused me to give myself a stress-induced migraine for a little more than six months. But it is this little angel that is gonna make me lose sleep at night, and punch out walls or doors, or whatever. I an see myself doing it already. She already has me wrapped around her finger, and I know it. I try to be strict with her, but I quickly swoop her up and smother her with hugs and kisses, and I am okay with that. I have had to deal wit pregnancy scares with STUDENTS, and I know I won’t be ready to hear my daughter say she’s pregnant when she’s been married for 6 years, and I can see that about myself.

This little doll is already causing my great stress… How are you supposed to raise a daughter in America anymore? How do you make sure she is sure of herself, full of humor and life and personality, and still has her soul, and is beautiful from the inside out? How do I choke any boy or girl who makes her feel insecure for only a moment and not go to jail? I have been trying to get into shape not for my own health, or to look better or feel better, but so I can be an intimidating presence for any idiot kid who has the balls to try and date my daughter.

If I choke a kid, will you visit me in jail?

Happy "Political Correctness" Day

I was told by my dad that the only people group that can displace black people is Mexicans. This coming from an old man who grew up in a happy time of Black Panthers and White ghosts on horses. He came from a simpler time, when "yes" meant yes, "no" meant no, black people were black, whites were white, and Indians were reds, and every other culture was boiled down to a single color.

The worse thing that American has done to deal with diversity is try to be politically correct. We have effectively found new ways to stereotype and categorize people based off of anyway they may choose to identify themselves. I was honsetly telling a story and said, "This black dude..." and I was flooded with a bunch of questions trying to determine whether they were African-American, African, or what part of Africa. I don't get offended by gross generalizations that display they speakers ignorance, and I laugh at those who go the extra mile to try harder to sound like an idiot by trying to categorize me more specifically. We have new ways to belittle cultures and newly polished sets of stereotypes, categories, labels, and boxes to put people in. We can even categorize people who are of one culture, but act like another, and this negates that there could be exceptions when we say that this person is "acting black."

So, what is it about the holiday season that effects people so deeply to the core? It this time of year so crucial to the soul of the nation that we need to make a mockery of the entire season? If I can't have it all, them no one can enjoys the season! The video illusatrates my point. Is This time of year so evil, vile, and disgusting that we have to make it a bland celebration of... nothing. If that is the case, then where should we draw the politically correct line? Do we change Thanksgiving so not to offend Native Americans? Do we cancel Halloween celebrations at schools so we don't upset witches (which did happen this year)? Do we take the feelings of the KKK into consideration when we celebrate MLK's Birthday? Do we lessen our Memorial Day and Veteran's Day Celebrations so we don't upset Japanese Americans? Is Labor Day offensive to the homeless and unemployed? Why do I have to hold my tongue? Why should you? If you celebrate it, tell me Happy Hannukah. I'm not Catholic but was I offended when my friend invited me to his Confirmation? No, it was a big moment for him, and I didn't mind being supportive. So what is the point of being politically correct when it means you have to take everything too seriously?

Harsh Times of Wall and Sesame Street

This picture shows how the rough economic climate has effected not only the stock markets on Wall Street, but also the economic stability on Sesame Street. Big Bird, their noble friend, sacrificed himself to feed his friends over the holidays. They have much to be thankful for because when you have family and friends willing to do whatever is necessary, you will always have what you need and you will never go hungry. We should all be so blessed as to have a Big Bird in our lives.

The Office Dance

The theme to the shoe "The Office" brings happy thoughts in our house, as it causes Riah to run from wherever she may be and whatever she may be doing and dance in front of the TV. Of course she says "Daddy dance too!!!" and I have to jump up and join her, but when it's done, we clap and then I sit down to watch the episode and she goes back to wherever she was. It's like momentary insanity... not uncommon in my family.

A Big Thank You

[I wrote this while finishing my BA at Western in Bellingham]

Thank you mister MP3 player inventor-guy!!! Because of your innovative spirit, America is a better place. You have rescued us from idle chit-chat and small talk that allows us to slowly get to know the other humans who move about this world with us. You've given us the tools capable of shrinking our spheres of influence and restricting us from meeting new people. You've even allow serial killers to prey on night joggers who don't hear them running up behind them. I'm not claiming to be better than anyone, because I too am a victim of his ruthless intellect that allows me to take hundreds of my favorite songs all deafen myself throughout the day.

However, I try not to be as oblivious to the world as most. I've seen a guy get on the wrong bus; he thought he was heading to campus from a park-n-ride, but he got on the bus that was heading down the freeway. I did save him and the bus driver let him off, even though he did not hear her saying where the bus was going as he got on. Or the people who play the soundtracks to their life so much that they push the play button just to walk down the hall between classes.

It is not all bad, however, to seek isolation from the obnoxious and stupid world we press through. I've found that when I turn my volume down, and people don't think I can't hear them, they're not talking about anything useful. In addition, headphones in one's ear says to those around exactly what I would like to say, but I'm too nice of a guy: "stay the %!@# away from me! I don't care who you are, or how the weather is, and I don't want to talk to you about current events, or the funny thing your pet did the other day, or if you have a kid my age!" But the easiest way to do that is to have my headphones in. For that, I send a big thank you to the MP3 player inverntor-guy.

I'm done.

What's wrong here...?

What is horribly wrong in this picture? What did I observe when I went into my parent's house for the first time since the Winter of '04? What was "off"???

My mom, who I can argue I was not close to growing up, who I have not seen in 5 years, who had only recently met my daughter, who would take such overwhelming pride in her "trophy" sons, has new trophies.

I have seen her dance around a house and entertain people on numerous occasions, and she was doing the same song and dance here, but I have never felt so out-of-place in my own mother's house before. The way she was introducing other people as her "sons" to extended family (and to me) made me realize that I made the right decision to concentrate on building my family, and letting them... do what they are doing. How am I supposed to react when my mother is clinging to other people and saying that they are her sons when she has ZERO relationship with any of the ones she gave birth to? Why do they get the good parts of my mom, and I'm stuck with the crap? Why are they greeted with smiles and dancing, and when I met my mom with her grand-daughter in the park I was greeted with baggage?

I shouldn't have to mentally prepare and put up a shell to go into my own mother's house. I shouldn't have people trying to speak profoundly to me and having the only thoughts in my head be of how ridiculous it is of them to actually think that I care about anything that is coming out of their mouths.

This experience did allow me to know that I made the right decision 5 years ago, and that it may be a while before a civil relationhip can be built.

I'm done.